This year I decided to try to make or mend any clothing I wanted, instead of buying more and more clothes that I actually do not need. In an effort to do this I started thinking about all my previous makes, especially the ones I do not wear. My mind kept wandering to my very first make. This blouse I made while attending a four week sewing class in Birmingham, AL. It was my very first sewing project. The class taught you how to sew kids clothes, but that has never interested me, so I asked if I could make something for myself. At the end of the class I was so proud of myself, but at the same time I knew I’d probably never wear what I’d made. From the very beginning it was too big on me and not really my style. But the fabric was and still is my favorite. So in an effort to keep this fabric and my first sewing project in my life, I decided to make some changes to it.
I cut 7 inches off the bottom and I chose to roll the sleeves up. It already feels more like me. I might try to take in the sides a bit and I am considering making it sleeveless, but for now I am going to enjoy the changes I have made. It felt good to cut off the bottom. I just decided a change needed to happen, picked up my scissors and went for it. In the past I have been so scared to makes changes to any of my makes. I’m always scared I’m going to make things worse. The more work I do to feel grounded in who I am, the less scared I am to take risks. If things do get worse, I can make another change, and I am still just as valuable if everything falls apart. I’m learning to always show up for myself, and knowing I have my own back is giving me more confidence to create and try new things.
I am seeing my own healing work rollover into other aspects of my life. I never thought about how being more confident in who I am as a person would give me more confidence as a creator. It makes sense when you think about it, I just never really thought about it. To me it’s evidence that as we heal, grow, expand, and stretch ourselves, we will see healing and growth in so many areas of our lives that we didn’t think were connected. I cannot wait to watch as I continue to gain confidence and push myself to do things and to create things I thought would only happen in my dreams.